Sunday, November 25, 2012

Where's The Toddler Handbook?

Being a new mom is tough, even if you read all the books.  Because sometimes, those books are contradicting.  I wonder whether or not to give my baby a pacifier or let her suck her thumb.  How come that mom has it so easy breastfeeding and I can't get the hang of it?  Should I let her cry it out, or snuggle her to her heart's content?  And what about all those vaccinations? 

Okay, I'm not a new mom anymore and by the grace of God, we kind of figured it out along the way.  But now, I'm a mom to a toddler and I'm wondering where the toddler handbook is.  I thought I had it all figured out.  But suddenly, she goes days without taking a nap for no rhyme or reason.  She won't eat her dinner or try anything new.  When should I start potty training and take away that paci she loves so much?

Our pediatrician, who I did not like, told me at Baby C's 18 month check-up, that I needed to get rid of the paci soon.  The longer she had it, the harder it would be to take it away.  Well, of course I didn't listen to her.  I don't regret it though.  I just didn't feel like it was time.  We had so many changes going on in our life, I didn't want to add something stressful.  This past week, however, we've made progress.  Every morning, Baby C drops her paci in her crib and it stays there until she lays down.  Yay, no more searching on end for lost pacifiers and paying money to replace the old ones.  Maybe it doesn't solve the problem completely, but it's a start, right?

Now, about that potty training business.  I certainly don't have that one figured out.  I put Baby C on the potty, just to test it out.  She was scared and wanted down right away.  I don't blame her.  She probably thought she would fall through the hole.  She doesn't have any interest in it, so I don't want to push her.  I feel like that might backfire.  But I do want to take steps in the right direction.

And the whole no naps for days on end.  Well, I'm just going to give Baby C a point for that one.  I've tried everything.  There is no consistency as to why she will or will not take a nap.  I've removed all books and stuffed animals, but she continues to entertain herself.  Her room is pretty dark, so I know that's not the case.  And I don't see any new teeth popping through, so no teething is going on.  Ugh!

Despite the lack of a toddler handbook, we are figuring it out together.  I have this love/hate relationship as to how much she is growing and changing.  It's fun to hear her say new words and watch her determination and fearlessness to figure something out.  But I wish she would slow down.  My baby girl is growing into a beautiful little girl.  And I'm already missing the baby years.


All children are unique and each family has their own beliefs on how their children are raised.  There is no right or wrong way, it's what works best for your family.
With that said,  what has worked for you with potty training, pacifiers, nap times and the toddler years?

16 comments:

  1. I agree 100% ~ It is what ends up working best for each family! :)
    Potty training for us: Waiting. If they were interested we tried it. If they resisted, we encouraged them but let them be stubborn. Jaxon was well over 3 when he finally decided to go. He told my stepmom that he would always wear diapers and his wife would change them =}
    Paci's can be taken away anytime, so I see it as a non-issue! She won't be in grade school with one, I promise! tehehe.
    And naps... How I love naps! Some kids take them until they're 7, some stop at Baby C's age. My first was like that. However it goes, it'll be ok {but for your sake, I hope she gets back in the naptime groove} (;
    You're such a good, thoughtful mommy! Baby C is very blessed to have you.

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    1. Ha ha! Diapers for his wife to change. Oh goodness! I'm glad it all worked out for his future wife. Yes, I would love it for Baby C to nap as well. She's so cranky without it. Thanks for your tips, Jenny! I feel blessed to have Baby C too!

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  2. I would say to maybe get her her own little potty. I can see how a big gaping hole would be intimidating lol. My daughter was potty trained at a little after 2 simply because she was ready. Also I had decided I was only going to do it once ;). If you're interested I wrote about it here:

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  3. My phone isn't letting me post the link but you can search potty training on my blog if you want.

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    1. Thank you, Miranda! I will check it out. The thought of a little potty always grossed me out. But now that I think about it, it's probably no grosser then changing diapers, right? :)

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    2. Honestly, I never used one but if it helps why not :)? And she might slowly get used to the bigger potty then too.

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    3. Cleaning a little potty grosses me out too. What am I supposed to do with its contents if it sticks to the walls of the potty? Wipes? Water? Sink? Ew. I'd love if J went on the big potty with a little toilet seat attached to the adult one. We'll see what happens.

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  4. Good for you for not listening to your pediatrician, why do you still go if you don't like her? I think pediatricians just give you the clinical answer without considering the other thousand factors in your life. You are right, life has been changing a lot around C and you certainly don't want to make things even harder. I say, as long as you get rid of that paci before her mature teeth are in, you are alright. I'm taking that advice when it comes to J's night time bottle. Great to hear she's dropping it in her crib in the morning!!!!! That's certainly a big step! As for potty training, we MIGHT start in 2013. J has shown no interest, and one of our friends said the 3-day boot camp totally made their daughter go backwards in the training. So, that confirms it. We're waiting til J shows interest. As for naps, no help for you on that one. It's 50/50 whether he will nap. Though we've found if we put him down later, like 2pm, he can nap. Though he gets up later like 4pm, we can still manage to get him to bed by 9:30, so that's not bad (usual bed time). Even if there were a handbook, we shouldn't buy it b/c like you said, every kid is different and we need to tailor our teaching to them, whether that's being patient for food or a diaper change, or not being easily frustrated when things don't go their way. Oh, and about eating, we have that problem too. Some meals, he scarfs it down. Others, just a bit. Oh well, I say!

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    1. We don't go to that pediatrician anymore. I was waiting on changing until we moved. She has a new ped that we will see for the first time in December. I just didn't want to change doctors at the time, because I knew we would be moving soon and getting a new one anyway. I'm glad we are in the same boat with potty training and naps. You understand me so well. :) I agree, I've been trying to put Baby C down later for a nap. It seems like it's working MOST of the time. You are right, we don't need no stinkin' toddler handbook!

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  5. I love pacifiers. I think all kids (ok, atleast my kids) should leave the hospital with ear tubes and a pacifier. Both my kids had those little soothers until they were 3 (or more) and it is such a blessing when they decided they are done with them.

    Eph Potty trained at 3.5, in the summer. Trying to train in the winter was futile and led to so much angst for all of us. Lu (I am sure it is because we cloth diapered) took her diaper off at 20 months and told me she was "all done." We had the little potties in the halls upstairs and down stairs. I am a huge fan of the little pots. I just feel like they give more independence, less noise (fear) and better use of the leg muscles. Believe it or not, we use our thigh and stomach muscles to push out a BM, so if our legs are dangling, we are not "doing it" right and I think that it leads to strain and other poop problems. (But that is just what my research on the topic told me.)

    No imput on naps but I have heard that nap strikes are common but you should still lay them down, even if they just play. My kids have always been in daycare...so they nap. THANK the Lord Jesus! Because Mama loves her weekend naps.

    You are a great mama! THanks for sharing your struggles.

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    1. What great tips Melanie! I did not know that about the leg muscles. That is such an important factor to keep in mind. Thanks for listening to my struggles. :) You are a great mama, too!

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  6. I never went by a book because it just never worked for us. We do a lot of trial and error in our household and I am okay with that. As far as potty training, I say wait till they are ready. I tried to push the issue when H was 3 and she ended up needing to take enemas bc she was so afraid to poop in the potty. I then put diapers back on her and followers her lead. At 3 years, 3 months- she asked to use the potty and from that day, was completely trained day and night time. As far as the pacifier, I say it is fine until 3- shhh, don't tell my husband I said that!LOL

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  7. I never went by a book because it just never worked for us. We do a lot of trial and error in our household and I am okay with that. As far as potty training, I say wait till they are ready. I tried to push the issue when H was 3 and she ended up needing to take enemas bc she was so afraid to poop in the potty. I then put diapers back on her and followers her lead. At 3 years, 3 months- she asked to use the potty and from that day, was completely trained day and night time. As far as the pacifier, I say it is fine until 3- shhh, don't tell my husband I said that!LOL

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    1. Thank you for sharing your tips, Melissa. I think I'm going to wait until Baby C shows interest in potty training too. As much as I don't want to change diapers anymore (or buy them for that matter), I'm okay with her leading the way. I'm off to tell your husband about the pacifier. LOL! Just kidding. Us moms have to stick together. :)

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